i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I could make wine with my vomit
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
