It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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