just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
