how can u be prego again
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My hand turned me down
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
