That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize