just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
