that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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