saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
