Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Come on in and take your pants off
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