She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
