idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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