Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
