We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
