My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize