between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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