so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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