I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
