I hope mine doesn't look like that
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
