that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
