Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
