Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
