So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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