Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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