Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
