I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
