He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy sore nipples Batman
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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