Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
