1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Rumble strips road head = magical
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
