I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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