I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
