brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
