I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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