so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
