well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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