oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
