She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Your cock deserves a montage
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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