16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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