O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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