So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
