exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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