his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
