Have you finally orgasmed yet?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
