Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize