I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Randomize
