whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
