She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
where are you?
Hypothermia
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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