Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
