I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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