Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
