so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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