Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
