That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
