I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize