Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
