The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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