i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
