I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
