Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
