Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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