i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
