fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
