yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
