birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
