he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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