If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
