Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize