I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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